Are Men What They Used to Be?
Dr. Peggy Drexler. Author, ‘Our Fathers Ourselves. Daughters, Fathers, And The Changing American Family’
Every study, it seems, brings another assault on the masculinity of the American man.
As I read about how men are thinking more like women, and women are filling the space vacated by declining masculinity, I have to wonder: Is it a shift in gender roles, or an easing of expectations?
In other words are we seeing men and women as they always were, but were never allowed to be?
Those in the men-are-the-new-women camp point to what they see as troubling evidence. Early this year there was much buzz in the halls of gender behavior when a study of 5,000 American adults found that more men are interested in attachment and commitment, while more women wanted to preserve some of their independence in a relationship.
There were other findings that sounded alarms about the manliness of men. Half of single men 21 to 35 wanted kids, where for women in that age group, the number was 46 percent — not exactly a statistical landslide, but apparently troubling none-the-less.
Adding circumstantial evidence of de-masculation is the growth of men’s cosmetics, waxing, and fashion. Now this: SPANX, a company founded to fight panty lines, tummy bulge and bra fat — reports that one of their hottest new products last year was SPANX for men.
There is more. But across all of it, interpretations range from interested observation to predictions of the matriarchical decline experienced by civilizations past. But at the core: there is the fear that America is becoming a less manly place. I heard nothing, for example, about the hard-nosed warriors in the U.S. women’s soccer team that spoke to bad things happening to females.
But as we pine for the macho man and alpha male, let’s also look at some additional evidence of the changing American man.
Dr. Warren Farrell, the author of the book Father and Child Reunion, points to the growing desire of dads to be a bigger part of their children’s lives. This new paternal involvement, he writes, “is to the twenty-first century what women’s desire to be in the workplace was to the twentieth century.”
A 2007 survey by the employment website Monster.com found that 70 percent of fathers would consider being a stay at home parent if money were no object. Almost 50 percent of dads of school aged children took paternity leave when their employer offered it.
The evidence is also accumulating in smaller increments. Men are free to hug more, they help with homework, they listen more, and — especially with daughters — are part of their lives in ways long denied to fathers of earlier generations. Is it feminization that has brought fathers so far from the distant, silent providers of the past?
Pick any organization, and you’ll find awareness, backed by shifts in culture, that the days of the my-way-or-the-highway manager are past. Is it feminization to realize that leadership by brute force of title must be replaced by the so-called “soft skills” of communication, cooperation and engagement?
While some wail over the declining state of manhood implied by the statistics, there is also the very real possibility that men are evolving from swaggering through life in some cartoon interpretation of what men are supposed to be — to becoming more fully-formed human beings free to find out what they can be.
So here is the question: are men less masculine, or more liberated? Are they being feminized, or humanized?
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So are men becoming more sensitive, humanized or feminized? Every man has his own story. I will not lump all men into one happy package. What I can comment on is how many requests I* get for Feminization Sessions. I have certainly seen a increased interest in Feminization. Also the Bulk of the callers I get on Niteflirt are into Feminization, Cuckolding and Small Penis Humiliation. I find that many men are realizing that they do not want to be the sterotypical “real man” anymore. Many men I talk to would rather Worship a Strong Dominant Woman.
I do not know if this makes them weaker or maybe in fact stronger and more couragous. It takes balls to go against the customs and peer pressure of modern society. It takes strength to be emotionally available.
So what do you think?
Mistress Eva

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1 COMMENTS
1 whyguys
A large part of this phenomena derives from the Female Sex acquiring equal rights. Once the playing field started becoming even slightly levelled between the sexes, (and it still has not totally been!) it became evident Females were excelling and males were falling behind in nearly every area of endeavor. The reversal of the hierarchy of power of Women and men is accelerating geometrically. (And while males always seem to cite physical strength, you even see that disparity being diminished among the more athletic Female populace. and this may be one that could be corrected as more physically able Females choose find Themselves attracted to less physically dynamic males as mates thus reinforcing further change.)
It may be posited that males always sensed their natural inferiority a nd weakness compared to Females and developed highly restrictive social mores forcing upon females ‘feminine’ behavior, personality and submissive roles they feared would be theirs if all things were eqalized.
Today’s younger generation of Females are growing up aware of their ability and a heightening satisfaction at seeing past false norms turned about. It would not be unheard of in say 30-50 years having a majority of what we thought of being, acting and even dressing as ‘male’ and ‘Female’ of past civilization as being made opposite PERMANENTLY.
It is an interesting note that Asian societies that are modernized, once one of the most restrictive on Females has evolved so much in a direction unheard of to a few generations past. For instance, the phenomena of the creation of crossdressing anime and manga amongst Asian youth flourishes. One of the most popular shows for young Japanese Females are programs where male peers are crossdressed and judged (JOSOU PARADISE). Another indication may be the ‘ladyboy’ or ‘new-half’ phenomena rampant in Japan, Korea, Thailand and the Asian Ring.
As the Female assumes power consummate with Her accomplishment, males everywhere will finding their nature leads them having to accept the ‘feminine’ trappings of being the ‘weaker’ and yes, perhaps, the naturally ‘feminine’ sex.
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