Why “Wimpy” Men make better Husbands.

27/04/12 3 COMMENTS

By Kait Smith


A new study says that when the economy is bad, women turn to sensitive and caring men.
Researchers from Southampton Solent University in the U.K have found that in times of economic turmoil, women prefer gentle, sensitive men.

The long-form explanation of their research findings makes sense. Overall, when financial times are tough, as they are right now, ladies are more attracted to loving and sensitive men. This conclusion was drawn after researchers had more than 150 women to rate men’s online dating profiles. They were then asked to rate which men were dateable, and which were marriage-worthy. Overall, women favored the aforementioned “wimpy” men rather than the “macho” ones, who would take command in a relationship.

Obviously we can’t argue with research study results, but we can disagree with the use of the word “wimpy” by The Daily Mail, which originally published news of the study. It just doesn’t make sense to call a loving and sensitive man wimpy (unless, of course, you’re a bully on a 90s Nickelodeon show). As our friends at The Stir argue, “who doesn’t want a man who can show emotion, love deeply, and tune into his partner’s emotions? Alpha males are great, but they don’t make the best husbands.”


Mistress Eva: If I was ever to marry, a sensitive submissive man, he would need to be a cuckold too. I would still like to fuck the Alpha men. 😉

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Why do women fake orgasms? New research reveals some surprising reasons

17/07/11 1 COMMENTS

From: “Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom eNews”
Date: July 15, 2011 8:21:33 AM EDT
To: Newslist
Subject: [wff-newslist] Why do women fake orgasms? New research reveals some surprising reasons
Reply-To: wff-newslist@lists.wff-lists.org

Why Do Women Fake Orgasms? New Research Reveals Some Surprising Reasons
By Liz Langley, AlterNet
Posted on July 5, 2011, Printed on July 13, 2011

I think I was about 11 years old when I asked my mother what an orgasm was. I remember her saying “I don’t know.”

Not to impugn anyone with whom my mother was intimately acquainted but I can’t be sure she was lying. It could have been the “I-don’t-want-to-explain-this,” variety of lie, or the “Ambushed! Play dumb!” variety or it could have been true. For all the sex scandals we’ve seen we should know by now never to assume jack about anyone’s private life.

I had asked because orgasms were everywhere, except, I guess, in people’s bedrooms. They were on book covers and TV talk shows and it seemed that this was a once-private subject, the sudden public discussion of which was making some people upset and uncomfortable, so naturally I wanted to know more. I don’t remember if my mom ever addressed the subject again but I cobbled together, with the help of various media, a half-assed idea of what an orgasm was, or at least how it sounded and naturally heard about women faking it, though not fully understanding what, I didn’t fully understand why.

One researcher has finally taken that question to academia.

Erin Cooper, a doctoral student at Temple University conducted research on women faking orgasm, which men do, too (statistics vary pretty wildly on the percentage, but whatever stats you read women’s numbers are higher) Her initial survey of 1500 women, written up by Sadie F. Dingfelder on the American Psychological Association website said that of the conscious reasons heterosexual women fake it the most common is “altruistic deceit” – in other words, avoiding hurting the guy’s feelings.

But a story by Live Science on a smaller survey of 366 women said of women who “endorse” faking it they do so for various reasons, including their own feelings of sexual insecurity, to avoid intimacy or “to get it over with,” and that for some it increased, rather than decreased, their sexual satisfaction. In an email Erin said that the smaller study “looked at fear of intimacy as a predictor of motivation for faking orgasm. So women who had difficulty in a past relationship are more likely to fake in order to avoid feeling insecure about themselves or to end the sexual encounter.”

First let’s look at the two reasons for faking it that are super easy to understand.

“Getting it over with” is a no-brainer. As fun as sex is – in fact the more fun it is – it makes you tired. Done.

Protecting the man’s ego is understandable too. Erin says that this wasn’t found to be associated with increased intimacy, but she does see it as a “relationship maintenance strategy” and I’m sure that she’s not only right but that sexual relationships are not the only sort we maintain with it. In fact, “altruistic deceit” is probably the greatest motivator ofalllittle white lies (You look great, by the way. Have you lost weight?). In fact, I think the male version of ‘faking it’ is saying “I’ll call you!” after an encounter, when they probably did not really feel quite what those sounds project.

As for faking it being some women’s way of salvaging their own egos that might sound surprising but it’s really pretty easily explained. If your sexual ego doesn’t want to let you admit to awkwardness, discomfort with your body or that you don’t know what makes you climax, well, you could easily fake it, the way people often fake being happy or knowing the story of Paul Revere. The problem is that a really well-constructed facade means they may never getreallywell-informed or find what makes them happy…or sexually satisfied.

Susan Crain Bakos, a veteran sex writer of over 25 years, author ofDaily Sex Bible: Inspirations and Techniques for the Best Year of Sex Everinventor of The Orgasm Loop,” says that faking it out of insecurity is often the case.

“It’s about keeping up and image of their own and wanting to be seen as this hot number who’s really sexual and always have an orgasm,” she says.
Hook up culture isn’t helping.

“Hook up sex is mostly drunken sex and you don’t get orgasms when you’re drunk,” becsuse alcohol deadens the nerve endings.

“They might have looked really hot but if they were really drunk and they didn’t come…there’s nothing hot about that! You might as well be wife of 30 years who doesn’t come in her quick encounter with her husband. (The hook-up girl) is wearing a hot dress and not coming. What’s the difference?”

Susan has some advice to remedy this (aside from not getting too tipsy). “I tell the young women if you want to go out and get laid you have your little bag, you have your condoms, your individual lube packets, a vibrator, something small and discreet and a vibrating cock ring for him. If you’re going to do this, do it right. Get an orgasm.”

And men want women to have real orgasms.
“If women only realized how much it might free them a little bit, make them more willing to tell a man what they want or relax into sexuality,” Susan says. The men who write to her for advice “are very focused on ‘How can I please her? How can I get better for her?” and the AMA story corroborates this: 90% of men, it says, care if women to have orgasms.

And their desire to please may be evolutionary important to them, just as faking it might be to women.

The AMA story quotes William McKibbin, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, Flint. as saying there’s preliminary evidence that “the female orgasm functions to selectively uptake a particular man’s sperm over another,” so, evolutionarily speaking, it’s better for him if he takes her there. Elisabeth Lloyd, PhD science historian at Indiana University, Bloomington, on the other hand, thinks it’s just a “fantastic bonus,” with no clear function. On the statistic that only 8% of women have orgasms through penile-vagina intercourse (without any helping hands), Lloyd also notes “Very few women can climax through intercourse alone, but in Hollywood, that 8 percent (of women) is portrayed as 100 percent.” Well-said,

Full article at: http://www.alternet.org/story/151529/why_do_women_fake_orgasms_new_research_reveals_some_surprising_reasons?akid=7222.41174.HEi-bZ&rd=1&t=5
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These are the types of issues Woodhull follows and flags for you – engaging with our allies in work to raise awareness of the human rights framework and potential violations and opportunities. We invite you to become a supporter of this important work.

OK, I am going to tell you straight. Women fake because they do not want to hurt your feelings. Honestly, you are not getting us off. I cannot feel your cock and I wanting to get it over with!

But honestly, when I find out a guy has a small cock, I usually blow him off. If he is persistant, I will turn him into a sissy and or cuckold. Its that simple.

Mistress Eva

Female super-earners: Bad for marriage?

09/12/10 6 COMMENTS

Female super-earners: Bad for marriage?
In households where the woman makes more money, the man is more likely to cheat, have health problems, and be unhappy, according to a number of recent studies. Is that right?

Men were reportedly hit harder in the recession, forcing more women into family breadwinner roles.

America is in the midst of a “new marriage crisis,” says Danielle Friedman in The Daily Beast, as women are outpacing men in the workforce and upending long-held gender roles. In fact, women make more than men in one-third of American households, and experts say that neither gender is successfully handling this shift in earning power. Are female breadwinners inherently bad for marriage, or can couples work together to adjust to this new reality?

What’s so wrong with a woman earning more?
Despite significant societal changes, “there’s still a sense — on the part of both men and women — that men should be the providers,” says National Marriage Project director W. Bradford Wilcox, of the University of Virginia. “We’re facing a whole new social moment in which women are doing better than men are,” and men haven’t found “other outlets for masculinity.”

And the studies actually back that up?
They do give that impression. The National Marriage Project found that husbands are 61 percent less likely to say they are “very happy” in their marriage in families where the wife works more, and other studies show that male unemployment increases the odds of divorce, high-earning men in their 50s with higher-earning wives have more health problems, and men who earn less than their wives are more likely to cheat on them.

Why are women starting to earn more?
Because they can, or because they have to. Women are graduating from college in higher numbers than men and are taking less time off from their careers to rear children. At the same time, men were hit disproportionately hard in the recession, forcing women to assume the breadwinner role in families.

Is this just an American problem?
No, couples are dealing with the same issue in Europe, says Katrin Bennhold in The New York Times. The “small but growing number of women who out-earn their partners” in countries like France and Germany are “giving rise to an assortment of behavioral contortions aimed at keeping the appearance of traditional gender roles intact,” like low-earning men paying for dinner in public with their wives’ money.

What’s a successful woman to do?
Anke Domscheit-Berg, an executive at Microsoft Germany who says “success is not sexy,” advises women to find their mate in their 20s, before attaining career success, or couple up with artists and academics who don’t define their success in monetary terms. Why is this “always presented as the woman’s problem”? asks Laura Clawson in Daily Kos. Men who “can’t deal with your higher income” need to give up their sense of “male privilege.”

Any advice for couples with a female-breadwinner?
“Enjoy the cash,” for starters, says Linda Stern in Reuters. Give each partner some discretionary funds of his and her own, “be proud” because “the high-earning mom is smart and capable, the lower-earning dad is comfortable with himself, and they’re both modeling good stuff for their kids.” And above all, “get used to it.”

Is there a silver lining?
Marriage historian Stephanie Coontz is “cautiously optimistic” that the growing egalitarianism in marriages will be good for couples, says The Daily Beast’s Friedman. Marriages that feel like partnerships, whatever the division of labor, get the highest marks for quality, and couples in which the man helps out with chores and child-rearing have better sex lives. Maybe that last fact “will prove be a good jumping off point for future conversations.”

Sources: The Daily Beast, Reuters, Daily Kos, New York Times, Wall St. Journal


Mistress Eva: Times are changing and men need to handle their egos and insecurities better! The years of the man always being the bread winner is over! Women have gotten tired of being treated like second class citizens in the work force! That has fueled many women to work harder and get more degrees than men! Finally, its paying off for women! So now men have to show us that they are worthy in other ways than just a good provider! Can you clean, cook, and take care of the children? Can you orally please us for hours? I would ask if you are a good fuck but many of callers just have “clits”. So for many of you, could you be a good cuckold? Don’t worry I will let you still work. You can pay for my dates with my hung studs! 😉

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29/08/10 0 COMMENTS

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